


An Outlaw's Nightmare

by clgfanfic



Category: Alias Smith and Jones
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-29
Updated: 2012-10-29
Packaged: 2017-11-17 06:33:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/548643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clgfanfic/pseuds/clgfanfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heyes meets some unusual ladies...</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Outlaw's Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published in the zine Just You, Me and the Governor #3 under the pen name Lynn Gill. With sincere apologies to Jody, Terry, Liz, Betty, Cindy, Janet, Donna, Melody, Caroline, Chris, Debbie, and Maureen… and anyone else who might have been there!

          _This can't be happening; it's impossible.  It just can't be real!_   Hannibal Heyes closed his eyes and willed the apparitions to go away.

          "What's the matter with you?  You sick or something?" the voice asked – the same one that Heyes was trying so hard to deny.

          The outlaw leader forced his eyes open and stared in dismay at the stalled train sitting on the tracks nearby.  Yes, they were still there, all eight of 'em…  Women.

          "Huh—"

          "Now look, fellas, I know this here's a free country, but we got here first, so you're just goin' to have to find yourselves another train to rob, 'cause this one's taken."

          Heyes studied the young woman who spoke.  She was tall, at least as tall as he was, her dark-brown hair cut functionally short.  The darker brown eyes that watched him showed just a hint of apprehension.

          Well, at least she wasn't offended with the interruption.  _And considering the size of the Colt she's wearin', it might have proved a mite unhealthy for me and the rest of the gang if she had_ , Heyes thought.

          He cleared his throat and said, "I guess so."

          "Now just a galldern minute, Heyes," Wheat grumbled from behind him.  "We rode damn-near nine hours, through the rain and the dark to take this here train, and now you're gonna let a pack of she-wolves chase us off?"

          "That's about the size of it, Wheat, yeah," Heyes told the man.

          "Well, that don't seem quite right, Heyes," Kyle added.

          "You wanna argue it with her?" Curry asked the rumpled outlaw.

          "Nope," Kyle admitted, then added, "I sort o' figured that was you and Heyes' job."

          The other men in the gang nodded their agreement.

          The cousins looked balefully at one another.  Heyes was about to suggest a joint venture when another of the women outlaws rode up to join them.

          Blond playful curls and blue eyes made her look younger than she really was, but it was the Peacemaker she was holding like she had been born with it in her hand that caught Heyes' full attention.

          "The passengers are gettin' a mite restless, Ann.  You think we can get on with this before Pony shoots someone?"

          Heyes smiled beneath the trail dust.  _I ought 'a introduce that girl to Wheat, sounds like a match made in hell_.

          "Hellfire!  How many times do I have ta tell that woman not to go scarin' the passengers?  She's gonna give us a bad name!" Ann declared.

          The lady leader turned her attention back to the Devil's Hole Gang.  "Look fellas, I'm really sorry about the mix-up, but seein' as how we were here first, I'm going to have to ask you to move along so we can get back to business."

          "Huh, beg pardon, ma'am," Heyes said as the pair began to rein their horses back toward the stalled train.  "I give you my word that we won't do a thing to interfere, but would it be all right with you if we just watched?"

          A flash of surprise crossed the woman's face, paralleled by an identical expression on the Kid's that Heyes missed.  She broke into a wide smile.  "Well, no, not at all, Mr. Heyes.  We'd be right proud to have you and the Kid watch.  Maybe you can give us a few pointers afterward.  If you see something we might improve on in the future."

          Heyes' mouth fell open slightly and he had to swallow before he said weakly, "Be our pleasure, I'm sure."

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

          The women fanned out, each taking her job seriously and performing it flawlessly.  Removing the train's safe of its valuables went smoothly.  Smoother than most of their own capers, Heyes was forced to admit.

          It just didn't seem fair.  Gals were supposed to—

          He interrupted the thought before it got any further.  Heyes knew plenty of women who weren't the usual sort!  But still, a gang?  Of bank and train robbers?  All women?

          It just wasn't natural!

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

          Heyes and the Kid slowly followed the women back to their hideout, the rest of the Devil's Hole Gang having deserted them for a trip into a nearby town for a round or two of beers before they headed back to the Hole.

          The ride was relaxed, almost too much so for Heyes' liking.  The landscape was pretty, not to mention complicated enough to confuse all but the best posses.  Hannibal took the opportunity to study the women as they worked their way toward the hideout.

          Pony was in the lead.  She was mustang, half-wild tomboy who was more bluster than bite.  She and Wheat did share some characteristics, but he doubted she was as dumb as Wheat could be.  There was a calculating, quick mind behind her tough-girl act.  Hannibal nodded.  She would make a fine addition to any gang.

          Pony's constant companion was a tiny girl appropriately called Shorty.  No more than five foot tall, the Colt she wore dripped almost down to her knee.  There was a flint edge to the expression in her eyes when it came to Pony, and Heyes knew he wouldn't want to try anything funny around that little lady.

          "You going to get credit for this?" Shorty asked her companion.

          "Naw, I doubt it.  I don't think I could convince the department this independent study is necessary for the dissertation, but it sure is a lot of fun!"

          "Yeah, I'm glad you brought me along."

          Heyes and Curry exchanged glances.

          "Dissertation?" Curry whispered.

          Heyes shrugged.

          Two more of the women rode just off to the right, nearly even with the two outlaws.  They helped keep Heyes distracted.  One, Paws (although he had yet to figure out why they called her that) was also small, with soft curves and long brown hair.  An Irish lass, she had a quiet complexity about her that attracted him.

          The other girl, called Jugs for obvious reasons, rode next to Paws.  Jugs was perhaps the most well-endowed woman Heyes had ever seen, and he noticed that her ample bosom was holding the Kid's attention as well.

          "So, how do you think she did it?" Jugs asked the smaller woman.

          "I really don't know, but she has a knack for pullin' something when you're least expect it."

          "Tell me about it!" Jugs said with a laugh.  "I just hope I'm back before Dave misses me!"

          "I'm supposed to be in Santa Barbara this weekend, for some Japanese animation taping, but this is turning out to be a lot of fun."

          "Hey, Heyes," the Kid whispered.

          "Yeah, Kid?"

          "You know where Santa Barbara is?"

          "Nope."

          "Bet it's down by Santa Marta."

          Heyes just shrugged again.

          The final pair of the gang, Nashville and Lady, rode off to the left, and slightly behind the outlaws.  Heyes could tell by the soft southern twang that Nashville was no coincidence for a moniker.  Tall, thin, and blond, the outlaw was sure the young woman was a poet – there was just something about her.

          Lady, who listened quietly to the soft tones of her companion while still keeping an eye on the two men, was also a blond, but she was built more like Pony.

          _Nice gal_ , Heyes decided silently.

          "I just can't believe she did it," Nashville drawled excitedly.  "I'm so thrilled.  I sure hope my mom doesn't worry if we don't get back right away."

          Lady smiled.  "I know what you mean.  I still haven't figured out how I'm going to explain this as a TDY."

          "TDY…  That mean anything to you, Kid?"

          "No.  You figure it's a code?" he whispered back.

          Heyes shrugged for the third time.

          "You got a crick in your shoulder or something?" Ann asked.

          Heyes jumped and blushed.  "No, ma'am."

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

          Heyes grew more disorientated as they continued to ride.  Pony's cut-backs across the landscape had carried them high into the craggy mountains.  Something about the landscape was familiar, but, try as he might, the outlaw couldn't figure out how or why.  The two female leaders rode on either side of him and the Kid, content to not break the silence that had settled over the group as the neared the end of their ride.

          The hair on the back of Hannibal's neck rose when he heard the gunshot and a heavily accented female voice call out "Riders comin' in!"

          "That's London," Paws said, noticing Heyes' expression.  "She's from England."

          "I see," Heyes said.  "Just how many of you are there?"

          "Oh, that changes day t' day," Jugs informed him.  "But there's between two-ten and three-ten of us, as P.D. would say."

          "Two-ten?" Curry questioned.

          "Twenty or thirty," Paws translated.

          The two outlaw leaders exchanged worried looks.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

          "Well, it's about time y'all made it back!" a tall, dark-haired woman said, not unkindly.  "Who all did ya bring for supper?" she asked the two women leaders while watching the partners.

          "Mom, this here is Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry," Ann said.

          "Do tell?  Well, I'm right proud to make your acquaintance, Mr. Heyes, Mr. Curry.  I'll make sure we cook ya up something real special."  Smiling, the woman turned and headed off toward the expanded bunk house sitting near the barn.

          "Heyes," Curry said softly.  "This place look a little familiar to you?"

          Looking over the camp, he nodded.  "Yeah, it looks like Devil's Hole."

          "Sure does.  Ain't that strange, Heyes?  I mean, not all hideouts look the same… do they?"

          "How would I know?  I ain't seen all of 'em."

          "Well, it's about time y'all made it back!" another woman said.

          Heyes blinked.  The words used were the same, but the speaker was different.  Shorter than "Mom," with long, blond hair worn back in a braid, this woman reminded Heyes a little of the Kid's mother.

          "Huh, Mr. Heyes, Mr. Curry, this is Mom-Two."

          "Mom, too?" Heyes asked, confused.

          "No, Mom, T-W-O."

          "Hey, Pony, here comes Ricky," Shorty said, nodding to yet another woman who emerged from the bunk house to greet them.

          "How'd it go?  Sorry I was late, but I had to do some taping for Andy.  Did I miss all the fun?"

          "No problems at all.  I was amazed.  And, no, I doubt you missed all the fun. We have dinner guests," Pony said.

          The women dismounted and started to lead the horses over to the barn where another emerged, a large smile on her face.

          "I don't believe it!  There's all sorts of really old stuff around here!  I'll bet some of it even dates back to the mid-1870's!"

          "Hey, Hotel!  Glad you could make it!" Pony said, patting the woman on the back.  "I thought you had to work?"

          "Oh, I called in sick.  Isn't that awful?  But I'm glad I did!  This old stuff is great!"

          "Really old?" Curry questioned his partner.  "That's only ten years or so."

          Heyes shrugged.

          "Better watch it, Heyes, that crick is back."

          "Oh, that's real funny, Kid, real funny."

          "Eeehaa!"

          The loud whoop caused the two men to jump, spinning to face the source of the sound.  Both their hands rested on the handles of their revolvers.

          "I knew it!  I knew it!  His knees don't touch!" the newest addition said, pointing at Curry's legs.

          The other women all promptly fixed their gazes on the corduroy covered joints.

          "Yep, right you are," Jugs said.

          "Heyes," Curry said through nearly gritted teeth.  "Did they just call me bow-legged?"

          "I think so, Kid," the dark-haired man said, trying hard not to let the grin roam any further over his face.

          "You were right about the dimples, too," said another voice.  "And a smile that would warm up a winter's day in Minot."

          It was Curry's turn to gloat over his partner's embarrassment, and he took full advantage of it.

          "All right, ladies," Ann said.  "Why don't you let Mr. Heyes and Mr. Curry get cleaned up for dinner?"

          The women nodded and moved off in various groups, all of them glancing back a couple of times while the two outlaws remained in the center of the clearing, unsure if they should accept the invitation or not.

          "Huh, Ann is it?" Heyes asked.

          "Yeah, well, it's really Annabel Days."  She nodded at her partner.  "That's Julianna Murry."

          Curry shook his head and asked, "And just where are we, ma'am?"

          "Why Angel's Nest, of course," Murry answered.

          "Of course," Heyes whispered.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

          "Heyes.  Heyes, come on, wake up.  What's the matter with you?"

          "Huh?  Wha…?  Kid?"

          "Yeah, it's me.  Are you okay?"

          The outlaw forced himself up onto his elbows and looked around their quiet, dark camp.  "I'm fine, Kid."

          "Well, it sure didn't sound like it.  You were carrying on, talkin' and mumblin'…  You woke me up."

          Heyes sat up and ran his fingers through his dark-brown hair.  "Sorry about that.  I was having a dream."

          Curry watched his partner for a minute before he said, "Well?"

          "Well what?"

          "Well, are you going to tell me about the dream?"

          "I don't know, Kid.  It was… different."

          "Heyes, the least you can do is tell me why you're keepin' up all night."

          Heyes grinned at the blond.  "Okay.  I dreamed we were all a bunch of lady outlaws.  Or maybe we were kidnapped by a bunch of lady outlaws…  It's getting a little fuzzy."

          Curry's mouth dropped open.  He closed it.  "That's no dream, Heyes.  That's a nightmare."

          Heyes chuckled.  "Yeah, I guess it was…  Only I didn't get a chance to find out what they were going to do to us after dinner.  Once they got us up to their hideout, that is."

          "Good thing, too," Curry grumbled, settling back on his bedroll.  "That probably would've woken up the whole countryside."

          Heyes chuckled again.  "It might've at that."

          "Heyes?"

          "Yeah?"

          "You ever think it might be time to get out of this business?"

          "Well, Kid, let me tell you… I'm startin' to."

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

          "So, what do you think?"

          "I think it'll make a cute short piece."

          "Okay.  Too bad it couldn't really happen, huh."

          "No kidding."

          "Oh well, we can keep dreaming!"

The End


End file.
